Erica, I just wanted to tell you that I am, or was, extremely shy. I came into AA twenty years ago, and most of the time I was sober, I just kept having relapses. But in those sober years and months, I learned to have confidence and not be afraid of people as much anymore.
Your self-confidence, like mine was, is zero. But you can become the wonderful human being you were meant to be. I, also, was terrible to my partners, very abusive and psycho behavior. It has also taken therapy for me, to heal and get well.
But FIRST THINGS FIRST...put the plug in the jug...and come here everyday and talk.
I am only sober this time since Dec. 17, 2008, I was out drinking again for a couple of years until I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Keep coming back!