Yep, I understand.
You can always tell him how you feel and tell him you have issues too, like confusion. :-) If he is not drinking this is the way healthy people communicate where they are at, what they think and what the want. Then he tells you, then you both work it out together or for yourselves.
Can I ask, are you confused about what the right decision is or do you not what to make the 'wrong' decision?
When we are honest with ourselves the decisions can be made. The next step is following through.
I told my AH that I no longer had romantic feelings for him. If he did not relapse and worked on his recovery all around I would not even consider divorce put would allow for time to heal an open this dimension of my heart. He then asked me what if I didn't have that kind of love for him again when he was a RA with time behind him. I told him that at that point i would let him know if my feelings weren't still romantic and as an RA with time I know he would be healthy enough to understand if i had to leave. This is how my ability to stay confused was removed.
Anyway, my answer was he relapsed and did not return to meetings and was moody and 'immature' to the fact I wasn't sleeping with him (daaa, after a relapse off a relapse). I am getting a divorce, I didn't have to go with the option to wait and see because the first boundary I set for protection of myself was broke.
love tam