Wow, you are pretty vehement that three years is too long! Everyone who knows my situation agrees with you but I didn't expect it from this group...thats pretty telling to me. Eek. Well, I guess I should explain it. The reason I feel I should give him three years is that I feel soooo guilty about leaving him. I am his life. Not just emotionally and socially (he has few friends) but financially. I flew out here to Colorado and picked out and bought our first house. We were living in his parents house in Boston for a brief period before this. He doesn't make enough money to live on his own right now, much less afford these house payments. i asked him last night what he would do if I left and he said go back to Boston to move in with his parents. This kills me. he isn't mean to verbally of physically, I just don't like this life anymore. I am so sick of coming home everynight to him drinking. I am sick of him not wanting to go anywhere or do anything, and worse, I am sick of him not wanting me to do anything or go anywhere wtihout him. He is totally possessive and needy and has no life of his own. I would be more than happy to sign the house over to him but he couldn't afford the monthly payments. I guess I just wish I would at least be able to know he can continue to live here and not have to go back to his parents. Thus I say three years so that he can hopefully find a better job or at least make more money doign what he is doing. I guess I just feel very very guilty because I am his everything. I especially feel guilty because he hasn't changed... he is exactly who I married. I have changed adn I feel I am abandoning him. I just don't know how to leave him without hating myself.