What would I be throwing away?? lol. A really great man when he's not drunk!
Several hard years does not erase twenty great ones. It'd be one thing if he had always been a jerk, but he's not. I found this quote earlier from links on another thread, talking about alcoholic ways.
belittling and subtly disparaging ..................... attempts at inflating his ego at [other's] expense
Yeah, that sounds like what's been going on lately. Not always, not often and it's always just a little comment or two, but it's too often IMO. So I've been spoiled for a long time with a really great husband and now there's this jerk that keeps appearing. He's a functional drunk, acting like nothing's wrong, talking with his friends and family, playing with the kids, even helping me cook several times this week (how stressful is that, cooking with a drunk? sigh). If it were being a jerk due to being paralyzed or going through cancer treatments, would I leave him for that? No. Should I call him on being a jerk. Yes, probably. But who's going to win an argument with a drunk? So I don't even try. I walk away. Not walking out, but walking away from the immediate problem that I perceive it to be. He doesn't, but he's the one who's drunk.
So no, I don't deserve this, but neither does he and I will stick by him. Game plan? As I said, one day at a time taking care of me for now. My hormones went totally out of whack with my last pregnancy. I am getting better, but I have a date on the calendar next month that if I don't have continued improvement through diet, exercise and other ways, I will get medical help. I will also be reading and working on my codie ways.
The doctor we went to over a year ago would have put me on anti-depressants at the time, except that I was still breastfeeding. As for AH the doc said he has his own demons and for AH to try to cut it down to either one drink a day or one binge per month. The doc did tell him that if he didn't change his ways he'd either be dead or on a handful of pills within five years. He tried to cut down for quite a while, but we all know how that story goes (and I knew it even as the doctor uttered that less than helpful suggestion). So this spring we'll be going to another doctor (trying to find one isn't easy), and I know we need a counselor experienced with alcoholism for both of us.
Thanks for playing the devil's advocate. Sometimes that's as helpful or more than commiseration.
