Hi Katie, I have always known that the aa philosophy is not for me but I kept perservering with the meetings because I thought I might be able to connect with people I liked and shared similar thoughts with.
Sounds to me like you have given it a good old try as well.
I recently realised that I cant put myself through these meetings in the hope of meeting friends and getting support.
Its not just the god stuff, I believe that a lot of people in the meetings i went to are paying lip service, saying what they think they should, one girl I used to really got on with recently got the higher power thing after four years of going to aa for face to face support (brainwashing anyone) and I dont want to make friends only for them to turn round and try and change me!
What I am trying to say in a long winded fashion, is that I know I need support, this is hard work, but I just dont want to put myself in the company of other alcoholics without any other connection between us.
I don't know how I am going to get together with the people I need to but I am sick of beating a dead horse.
P S you are really lucky to have smart in your area, let me know how it goes. x