Linda, HI! how are you feeling today. I just read your story, and I can relate to a certain extent. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict, but he is not a violent alcoholic. I left my husband seven months ago when he got arrested for possesion of heroine in our brand new car. I could not take it anymore at that time. I love my husband very much and just this month have moved back in with him and there are some days when i am pretty miserabel, those days are the ones when he gets in at 7am after an all night binge of drinking. He is the biggest ******* when he is drunk, the personality change is unbelievable. He is verbally threatening and has talked down at me when he's drunk. When he wakes up after a few hours of sleep and perhaps a slight hangover, he is a puppy. What has helped me are the alanon meetings, and keeping the focus on me...detaching with love is another way, but i have found this to be quite challenging. I definitely agree that you need to keep the focus on you, i know you love him, but you need to love yourself. go to alanon meetings and keep the focus on yourself, only you can decide if you want to stay or leave, from the sound of your story it sounds pretty violent, so PLEASE be careful.... think about you!!!
Longlivediva, NY