I was so relieved to stop drinking thru AA, that bar one slip, I haven't dared pick up a drink since September 08. Alcohol has kicked my butt so thoroughly, I have no desire to try and control it. It controls me.
However, I do attempt controlled opiate abuse experiments. That penny is taking a bit longer to drop. They end in disaster every time. Each time I stop, I think I could possibly not feel more beaten up than I do at that moment. But then I start again, "just weekends" which turns into "just evenings" which turns into "just 24/7".
The idea I can control any mind altering substance is the disease talking. There is no sanity in it!