I dont know if this helps any but I'm the parent of an addict and even I feel that sense of relief when my son is gone. I had such a peaceful time when it was just my daughter and i and i learned that life actually doesnt have to be so hard - in fact life can be pretty nice when there's not a lot of drama. I was happier and in turn my daughter was happier. He's here now and even though i do feel guilty because a parent doesnt naturally feel these things, i look forward to when he leaves again and we can get back to just living. As a mom its your responsibility to put your children first and you have to take care of yourself to be the best mom you can for them. You are absolutely right in putting yourselves above the problems he has caused in your lives.