I know what you are saying, Chiynita. Good luck.
My addiction to nicotine is the worst addiction I have ever had. Sometimes I wonder why I describe myself as sober, when I smoke these things all the time. I suppose it's because it isn't a mind altering drug like alcohol or pot.
One thing I have noticed every time I have quit for a while- I'll never be "ready" to quit. I will just have to make a choice and approach it day by day like every other addiction I have had.
I know addicts of all kinds that say that smoking is one of, if not THE hardest addiction they have tried to end.
In that respect, I call myself an active nicotine addict, because that's what I am.