I am doing good with the drug thing. I really havent thought about it in awhile. Even on paydays it hasnt even really crossed my mind to maybe get high in a few weeks. I dont know why. I dont care why. It just is what it is and I am ok with that.
My mind has moved on to other things "for now".
But these dam smokes have got the death grip on me.
I HAVE to quit. I cant stand them anymore. I hate paying for them. They smell. I am just so tired of them.
But the thought of not smoking really makes me panic.
Like right now I am buggin for a smoke. I dont have any money. But I could easliy get some. I want to throw the patch on tomorrow morning and start a brand new day smoke free. If I go buy a pack now. Its not happening. Then I am thinking if I had just a couple more sigs to smoke the rest of tonight. I would be ready to start tomorrow. And I probably would be. But right now. While I am still awake is driving me nuts.
This is going to be way harder than giving up drugs. I can see it already. And the attitude I get without one for awhile. Its awful.
I guess like anything else. Now is as good a time as any. But I dont feel like that right now.
