I know exactly how you feel. you should read my posting, "Lonley and Afraid". That is my story. You are doing the right thing by giving yourself a goal. That shows me what a strong person you are to be able to do that. It is so hard when you love someone so much and do everything for them and try to help them, and this is the treatment you get. Trust me I know all about it. I wish I could tell you more or give you more or give you more information, but,I, myself am going through what you are. The past week he has not drank and we went to a huge party with family and friends and I thought for sure it would end up bad. But you know what, to my surprise, he drank Coke, and Sprite all night long. We had a great time! But- I am not getting my hopes up cause it has only been about 1 1/2 weeks since he last drank. But he did show me that he could do it, and beleive me I know that it was very hard for him not to drink at the party this past weekend. He told me in the earlier part of the week that he owuldn't, and I didn't beleive him....well he did it. Please hang in there and just make sure that you take care of you first. Give him all the support you can give, but don't settle and don't let him put the blame on you at all. Remeber it is him not you. It is real easy to lose confidence in yourself from how they can treat you...don't let that happen. Keep you r chin up and you can rely on me anytime!