Oh Eleison, I so can relate to you. The 5 of us kids were beaten and verbally abused by my Father tremendously. Especially my one brother who has since been killed in an alcohol related car accident at the age of 20. I remember laying in the bathroom floor while my Dad beat the crap out of me until I pissed myself. My Mom never did drink and these beating always took place when she was at work 2nd shift. I don't know if I will ever get over the shame of my Dad being at the local bar most nights after work drinking himself into oblivion then coming home and raging out on us kids. I remember my sister and one brother and myself plotting to kill him when we were 13, 14 and 15 because we hated him so bad and what he did to us. Sad part of it all is that my Mom passed away at the age of 62 from cancer. She never did drink or abuse anything. My Dad did get sober for a few years (atleast that's what he said) after he got caught stealing money from work. They did not terminate him but instead offered him help with AA. That lasted a couple of years then back to drinking. Since Mom passed he has a variety of alcoholic and substance abusers in and out of his house. The result of his drinking is that me, my sister, and my other brother are alcoholics and substance abusers. The only one that has escaped so far is my youngest brother. I don't visit my Dad very often and I do not feel sorry for him. He has never apologized or acknowledged anything he has done and probably never will.