SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

01-18-2009, 08:40 AM

# 3 (permalink)

dothi

Member

Join Date: Sep 2008

Location: Anywhere but the mainstream.

Posts: 402

You're not being selfish. You're in a situation that is causing you and your mother pain, and you want it to change.

I second finding people who can understand your pain (as difficult as it may be). Where are you going away to? If it's college/university, consider checking out the counselling services there. They'll be covered by your tuition. Dealing with all the anger/sadness/frustration/etc can be overwhelming and scary. A counsellor trained in alcoholism will be able to help you express these feelings safely and privately. Better yet, you'll learn to keep it in perspective so these memories aren't weighing you down so much. Anger like this can consume and warp you - don't be foolish for wanting to confront it!

I've walked in your shoes. I've opened my birthday presents alone while my dad and his buddies drank at the table, all cheerful because there was another reason to drink. I'm still walking in your shoes dealing with all the anger I feel about it now.

A couple things that may help is journal what you're angry about it. It may sound silly, but I bet even writing this post helped you feel some relief. Just writing on a piece of paper what you're upset about will help to relieve the pressure on bad days.

Reading (if that's your thing) might also help. There's some good resources out there for children of alcoholics, including the "The Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love" and "Perfect Daughters". Punch both these into amazon and you can read the book descriptions to see if they'll help. You can probably find them both at the local library too.

You're not alone in feeling this way. Feel free to post here as much as you like!