Another gripe here !
Sorry for this gripe but here goes...
why is my dad killing us...hurting us ?? he seems to enjoy it im sure!He is that p$$$ed in the morning he cant string a sentence together he cant remember what you said to him, he has HUGE mood swings and seems to think hes in the right. He shouts at my brother and sister one minute and then kiss my bro backside the next. He lives at work sleeps on the floor with the rats etc ( its an old mill freezing 1838 built u get the picture ) and im sick of being the understanding one the eldest who stands around making everyone else happy. cushioning the blow ( or at least i try ) for the others. Im sick of being rational and doing the whole...I cant help him no more thing and if he want to stop he will....blah blah...Why is it ok for him to do this. Now dont get me wrong here my mother is and was enough to drive anyone to drink. cheating homewrecker ! but my father is one of the most level headed, incredibly brainy, respected man i could think of when i was growing up. Now he looks, smells acts like a tramp whilst onlookers tut and carry on ! its pathetic! Cheap crappy wine and any other shite thats sold in bottles to "enlighten" our lives should be poored out. Feed it to the very dangerous criminals in prison, kill them off not our dads, hubbies, sisters, brother mothers etc...I long for the dad who would play stupid games with me to keep me amused like French Cricket with the 2 of us or skip so i would laugh. Now all i have is a rotting carcass of a man who i call DAD.
He calls me on a night to discuss work with me... I hate having to wait to see what mood hes in to understand how i must treat him and what i should say. Theres nights he cries so much i cant understand what hes saying. Others where he refers to our past together and how wonderfully blessed hes been seeing my babies first smiles laugh steps etc.. which always gets me i dont let him know though !
I would love my children and the world for that matter to see him how he was, for god sake even the delivery driver noticed he stinks of wine and hes always slurring his words... How much more do we have to take. He never would have shown himself up EVER... Anyway i could go on forever... I just want the man i respected back !