Welcome to the forum, CAE!
I'm glad that you found us.
Originally Posted by
CAE 
And I'm sure we have much more growing ahead of us.
When I first learned that my husband was an
alcoholic, I still had a great deal of learning to do about what that word meant.
It was scary. When someone becomes chemically dependent upon alcohol, there are MAJOR psychological and physical complications. If the drinking does not stop, the disease progresses along a predictably devastating path. Those who do not find recovery discover that at the end of alcoholism's path lies sickness, madness, and death.
Grasping the truth of this terrifying reality helped me make well-informed, rational decisions about what kind of "growth" could be expected from my relationship with my husband if he did not choose address his addiction. Normal, healthy growth does not occur in the relationship if one member is mired in addiction. And you cannot control your partner's choices/addiction. But you can find lots of growth for yourself - you're in control of that.
It is serious business. Watching the progression is painful. I have discovered that my own network of support is ABSOLUTELY necessary to my sanity and well-being. Al-Anon works for me.
My thoughts and prayers for you and your wife.
Keep posting!
-TC