CAE

I think she is the epitome of co-dependent. Her life revolves quite a lot around me, she always wants to be around me. When I'm gone it's almost as if she needs her "fix" of me. It seemed like she'd become self destructive whenever I'd leave. I'd go spend the afternoon with my brother (she stopped going with me because she feels like my family is too judgemental, which is mainly just her having such low self esteem that she's very very sensitive) and even though she'd say it was fine that I go hang out with him she'd start drinking and calling me more and more the closer it got to the time when I was going to leave, asking when I was getting back, wanting me to come home. She constantly calls me at work. When I traveled for work I made sure to talk to her about once every two hours while at work and then we'd pretty much be on the phone together for most of the night.

She freely admits that she is co-dependent and I am not too bothered by it because I enjoy being smothered with her affection. It just gets a bit out of hand when she's drinking. Like she -needs- me to be there when she's drunk and will make me well aware of the fact that I'm not there for her at that moment in any way possible.

I haven't figured that out. I fortunately found a better job that I like a lot. We just bought a house and we're still getting settled in.

From what I gathered from the people who were there, as well as talking to the guy. She was drunk off of most of a fifth of jager and probably lying on the couch. He came up and started kissing/etc. her and she didn't resist. Then she all of the sudden snapped and ran to her phone crying saying that she just cheated on me. I didn't know the full story at the time so I didn't ask for details, I just found out later from others and the other guy who was kinda freaked out that she was accusing him of that.


It only benefits me in that I know what to expect when I get home tonight and tomorrow. She knows she has an addiction, she doesn't like it, but it is an addiction and she doesn't have the strength to do the work she knows she needs to do to beat it.

The hard part about moving somewhere is meeting friends. Unfortunately the only time we're around a lot of people in a social setting is when we're at a bar. She's alread gotten some phone numbers of people while out drinking. She'll most likely start hanging out with these drinking friends every other day even though when she's sober she looks at them and sees that they are not people she wants to hang out with. Unfortunately, on the days she has that need to drink she'll be calling them up and they'll feed off of each other and I'll get drunk phone calls at work for me to come home and pick her up because of whatever bad situation she gets herself into.

btw. The whole 'cheating' incident was at a time when I decided not to play the parent and let her hit a low that I knew she would hit from me not intervening. I love her too much to see her hurt herself. It's almost as if she's two people, and the drunk version of her likes to hurt her sober self. The best way to hurt her sober self is to hurt our relationship.

I went to one Al-Anon meeting. I had to time it so that we were both in a meeting at the same time.