New Here
Hello,
I ran across this site after doing a search for an online al-anon forum.
My wife is an alcoholic. Neither of us realized it until this past year. We just figured we both like to go out and have fun a lot. We were always going out drinking which was fun because I liked going out. But when it came time to settle down she couldn't. I could start to see that it was a bit more than just going out partying bit by bit.
She tended to drink whenever I went out of town for work. Drinking combined with her being very co-dependent wasn't very good when I was away. There was always some sort of drama that would come of it.
Eventually she hit a low while I was gone and we realized that she had a problem with alcohol. She went to counseling which brought her finally to Alcoholics Anonymous.
I went with her as well for support and to learn what I could do to help. She quit drinking for almost a month a couple of times but then after being unsuccessful she decided she didn't want to quit (all while I was looking for another job with no travel). She ended up having a mental breakdown with me being gone again combined with a whole lot of drinking and she ended up cheating on me (come to find out she just made out with the guy but she was drunk and messed up). When I thought that she had cheated I told her that we'd get a divorce unless she stopped drinking, even going as far as buying atibuse which would make her sick if she took a drink. When she read the bottle and all that it did to her and the fact that perfume and a bunch of other things have alcohol in it and it would make her sick we took the script back.
She got a little better after that whole incident. I got a new job and we relocated. She started drinking again but gave up wine (she'd start drinking wine after we got home from drinking and finish the bottle and stay up half the night).
For a little while she was using Xanax to help her sleep. Alcohol gives her a lot of energy and she can't sleep, so we decided we'd just have a few drinks and then she'd take Xanax and she'd fall asleep.
That wasn't a good idea because she became addicted to Xanax and when she ran out we found out that the withdrawl is severe. She was fortunate to get over the withdrawl after 3 weeks.
So now she drinks every other day almost like clockwork. She hasn't figured out the pattern but I have. She drank yesterday so today will be a good day. Tomorrow she'll want to go out when I get home or since she bought a 12 pack of beer yesterday and there is some left she'll probably be started on that tomorrow before I get home from work.
Things are ok right now as far as the drama goes. We're still in transition mode with moving and everything so that's enough drama to keep her going.
Anyway, just thought I'd get that out of the way since I don't really have anyone to talk to about all of this.