I can relate. Just because someone puts down drugs doesn't mean all the damage they have done (to their own brains and to their relationships with others) goes away. It doesn't mean that they are all better. The behaviors that led them to drug use are still there. Until they learn new coping skills or way of functioning in the world, there is a relapse bubbling under the surface.
Take away the drugs from an unrecovered addict, and what do you have left? An unrecovered addict.
If I keep my focus on me and being the best mother & person I can be - if I focus on my own problems and challenges, it helps keep the attention and the focus off the addicts problems - but it doesn't make his problems go away. The only thing that will make his problems go away would be to make HIM GO AWAY.
As long as I allow an unrecovered addict to be part of my life, my life will always be crazy-making. I own that choice.