Thanks so much for the help everyone.
Some thoughts from what all you have wonderfully posted here:
1) There is a point in any recovery when you need to get a sponsor. For me that time is now.
2) These emotional reactions are learned habits from childhood. Stress or worry provoke a strong 'run away' response (insert Monty Python scene). Where the mind 'runs to', if not addictive substances, is essentially a pandora's box of thoughts and feelings that must feel good for some part of the brain.
3) The 1st step is harder than I thought. These thoughts are powerless to produce any good (other than some part of the brain getting some joy out of it) or any change at all. And I am powerless over these thoughts as long as I choose to focus on them and not on a HP. Its like a alcoholic losing any power once they take a drink.
4) Some of my Step 4 lists must include the mistakes I make by focusing on whats going on in my head and not what it going on in the present moment. The mistakes should be generalized to avoid making an absurdly long list.
>> oops - I already made an absurdly long list. Well, that's what 'delete' is for.
5) The tricky part is getting something to focus on. It should be the will of the HP, but short of seeing a burning bush, I don't know how to do that. It may be LTD's Tolle way (It is so great that he has been a hit author - there is hope for us all) or GL's not-so-cr**** idealistic image of oneself (it is sort of like the not-so-secret principle behind 'the secret', but I won't go there). I have done some work with Buddhist meditation and I think there may be an answer there.
6) Hey, I think I got some progress. Yeah-hey! A Wicked big thanks to all, again and again.