Well it's a new year and I did the "ok no more as of 1/1/09" resolution. Failed. Failed on the 3rd, the 5th and so on. This has been going on for many years. I'm so ashamed. I really want sobriety, however, working a program and changing myself has always been very overwhelming. There is work to be done, rules to follow. I've never liked abiding by the rules but I surrender. I'm exhausted from drinking, trying to recover which can take days now and trying to hide it. What a racket I've created and I really want to change.
Time to give it up. The drinking and the lies. I've been reading the posts here for a few months while trying to muster the courage to join in, then get to a meeting and find a sponser. Step 1 accomplished.
