OK - so here is my update. We went to the party, there was lots of alcohol (but it wasn't messy). I didn't drink, but within the first half an hour my fiancee came up to me and handed me a glass of champayne. This is typical of him, when he is sober he takes very good care of me and is very very considerate. I wasn't going to drink, but he handed it to me and so I took it, drank it and had another 2 glasses throughout the evening. It was like he was saying he knew that drinking was bad for HIM. He drank softdrinks - we had a good time (I didn't notice him having a lot of difficulty abstaining) His bestfriend (who he's spoken to regarding his excessive drinking) asked if he was drinking and he said no, and he was totally supportive of that. A few hours into the night, my fiancee asked if we could go home and I said sure, whenever you're ready. We went home shortly after. I as very proud of him and told him that.
He is continuing counselling.
We have not fought since the day he decided to stop drinking. In fact our relationship is back on track (we were going through a really bad few months where we called off the engagement, then got back together but things still weren't working out).
I know there is still a lot of work to do, but I think the problems we were experiencing with the alcohol were mirrored in the ways we dealt with other issues in our relationship and if we start taking care of ourselves and setting boundaries, these tools will help with other aspects of our lives.
I hope everyone is well.
Caitlyn
[This message has been edited by Caitlyn (edited February 03, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by Caitlyn (edited February 03, 2002).]