Does the ACOA have this weird learned behavior of avoiding strong emotions? Fear is a trigger for drinking - do children learn that strong emotions, including love and responsibility, are to be avoided. Avoid relationships and work = feel less bad??
Or do ACOA's generate strong negative emotional reactions to fear, love, and responsibility that are totally out of proportion to the trigger, making it impossible to move forward?
I have known both kinds of ACOAs.
I was the first type until I was about 30. Strong emotions made me feel vulnerable to attack, so I avoided them like the plague, pretended that I didn't feel what I felt. From 30 to 40 I was the second type, and I felt empowered that I was "feeling my feelings," when in reality I was using them as a bludgeon. I'd gone from hiding to lashing out.
What about you? Which camp do you fall in? And why, d'you think?
Interesting topic, barn.