TSH,
I'm sorry your still struggling. For me, being sober isn't about just not drinking, It's about learning to live in peace. Are you getting any therapy or other help?
I don't think about not being "able" to drink next year, I focus on the 24 hours ahead of me. I think it was CarolD who has a list of her withdrawal symptoms in her wallet to remind her of what she doesn't want to do again.
I have to remember what I felt like when I was drinking. It wasn't fun. I wasn't a delightful person. I don't want to be like that again.
Those thoughts that we are missing good times with drinking are the voice of the beast trying to feed itself. It's not your sane part talking to you!
Hope this helps.
Love,
Lenina