Everything you say is so true. After all, it is all about self worth and this is what I have to work on. I have to trust my gut feelings more and right now, my gut feeling is that I am in a fragile state and cannot assume the responsability of AH's recovery. As it is, right now, his life choices are once again consuming my entire thoughts and this is not healthy.
All I can hope is that if he follows the process of rehab, he will understand that for once in his life, he has to take full responsability for what he has done, and in particular, understand that what he has done to me cannot be "undone" in just a few days. He has to let me recover at my own pace.
Does that sound reasonable to you?