Seriously, If they care about you and you need help. They will help you whether you take the A in or not.
Also, Consider going back to Al-anon. You will make friends and find support there. It doesn't matter if you didn't stay and they did. We all support one another regardless. You never know, they could be wishing they were as strong as you and and able to leave
.
Try to build a support system though co-workers, other parents, etc. You need to take care of you.
His recovery is his alone. Being with or with out you and the kids won't change that.
And hey, if this is the time he recovers for good. Then he will understand why you did what you did.
Take care of you!!!! hugs!