Thanks so much for your replies! I really need this strength right now. As an aside, he can't move with his dad because both his parents live 1000 miles from us. His dad came here for a couple of weeks (he cleaned AH's house which had become a disgusting mess) and even though he is a priest and apparently a trained councellour, what he says about the stash of cannabis and beer bottles makes me wonder whether he truly understand the manipulation that AH uses as a routine.
I suppose my remaining dilemna are:
1- I am still feeling guilty of wanting to look after myself. After years of being told that I was a selfish person, that things always had to be done according to me and my agenda etc etc, I am still struggling to recognise the result of the abuse as it is.
2- My AH is a nasty piece of work when he doesn't get his ways. My denial of him coming to stay with me will result without any doubt in a huge battle and I am still recovering from the aftermath of the past 2 years of hell. I want PEACE. I need PEACE.
Plus, with our great mental health system here in Australia, I have exhausted all my allowed psychologist meetings and if I need another appointment, if will cost me 150$ a visit....