what to expect after rehab
Hi all,
I haven't posted for a long time, although I have come here regularly to read stories and get strength at times when I was low. This site truly rocks....
Anyway, long story cut short, after 9 years of marriage to my AH, I left with my 2 boys (now aged 7 and 3) because I was truly going insane and I was sick to death of being mentally and psychologically manipulated and abused.
This past year has been a hell of a roller coster as my AH becomes very nasty when he doesn't get his way and routinely uses the children as "tools" to get what he wants. However, after intensive therapy with a great psychologist, I finally managed to detach with love and not fall into my AH's games of manipulation. The result of my new attitude has been a slide into full blown alcoholic binges for my AH, and then early december, his determination to check into rehab when he has now been for the past 5 days. Before he went in, he asked me if he could come to stay at my place after his discharge (here rehab only lasts for 10 days at most), as, in his own words, he would not be able to maintain sobriety without being surrounded by me and the kids. I tried to explain to him that I did not feel strong enough to deal with this, especially, without knowing "who" he would be without alcohol and cannabis. He apparently dismissed this as I learnt yesterday from his dad that I had agreed to this deal!
Truth is, I really don't see how I would manage having him back in my house, knowing that we do not have any family support here, that my social network is very very poor (thanks to the years of living to an alcoholic), I have a very demanding full time job, and the children's welfare is 100% depended on me at this stage. I am scared to death that I have zero reseources within me to cope with him after rehab, yet at the same time, I am also scared of his reaction if I deny him a chance to rebuild our life.
Another thing that worries me: he has kept few bottles of his homebrew beer in the cellar and bags of cannabis in his fridge which he refuses to get rid of. His dad says that I shouldn't worry about this as it is just his "security blanket". My own take on this is that at the first argument with me, he will be straight back into the cannabis if he has such an easy access to it.
What do you guys think about all this? How can I handle this? I have just made a phone call to his psychiatrist from rehab as my husband signed a disclosure agreement to allow me to get updates on how he is doing while in rehab....
Thanks for the support