I thought of my own relationship as I read your post, and I can only share what I have learned.
The point is I am in love with my boyfriend. When he drinks, he isn't the man I know. He is a complete monster.
I love my boyfriend (well xbf currently) also, but I am more in love with the idea of him, of what he "can be", and not what he is. This is/has been very hard for me to accept, b/c I want so much to be with him, and for us to be like peas and carrots all the time. Couple my hope with his ability to manipulate me with his promises/pretty lies....I have been doing this for almost 4 years now.
I need to make him realize that he is an alcoholic and I need to find help for him that will actually help him.
I still struggle with this also, I have tried everything to get him to realize he was an alcoholic and get him help. Everything from nagging, crying, begging, pleading, threatening, manipulating, getting my hair done, cleaning the house and cooking great meals (trying to be the perfect girlfriend), telling him all he has lost due to alcholism. I even bought him a truck so he would feel better about himself.
When I started getting into recovery, I started learning that I can't "make him" do anything, but that I could "not react" so much or try so hard to get him to see it, and then even though he is more likely to see what you want him to, there is no promise of it. But in the process of me starting to get recovery not just to keep my sanity (but in all honestly hoping this would cause him to "see it"), I have slowly started to get better. I have a long way to go, and I still want to hold onto hope of making him get it, but I'm gonna fake it until I make it.
Hang in there!