Originally Posted by
Rose56 
In the past 10 years he has worked for three periods, each lasting from 1.5 - 2years. Otherwise he has been unemployed. His not working is a HUGE trigger for me.
Originally Posted by
Rose56 He accepts little responsibility for the things that happen in his life, and I accept too much.
Originally Posted by
Rose56 He goes through periods when he drinks mostly from home and then he drinks 3 times a week at bars. I hate it both ways.
So, is the big unsaid thing being said that you support him financially? You pay the way and he does what he wants?
That's how it was in my marriage for a long time. I held on to the belief that it was only temporary. And when he did make a little money, he always contributed what he could. He had me convinced that he was doing all he could do.
I have since realized that I do not want or need a "partner" who cannot pull his own weight and contribute his fair share to the relationship, financially and otherwise. He convinced me that I was a greedy, selfish, biotch for feeling this way. Guess what? I'm not!
I don't know if this is how it is for you, but your post reminded me of how it was with me.
L