When it hurts enough...........your go.
Thing is your getting a bum deal..................you remain sober and dont get ALL the benifits that you could..
Hand on heart my friend..............im more content and at peace than i was BEFORE i even started drinking. for today.
When that first bunch got together and wrote the steps...they knew that it wasnt enough to just stay sober.........and they were so right.....imo.
Put away that big stick you are beating yourself with my friend...
Bottom line is you got sober...........thousands of people cant do that....and die trying..
You have identified the problem................you know the solution...
It will come with time imo.............god be with you............trucker.