Hey Done,
I don't post much anymore although I do read here most everyday to keep up with the folks who meant so much in my recovery and ultimate divorce from my exh, and you are one of the ones at the top of the list, so I jumped in here.
Take away the part about being a doctor and he could BE my exh! I lived in that particular kind of hell for a long time.
Ever heard the term 'gaslighting'? It's what it sounds to me like he is doing. He abuses you, and then reinvents history and you end up questioning your own sense of reality. It can get really crazy, really quickly.
Have you ever been in one of those amusement park houses built with odd angles that skew your perception and confuse your balance and you can't walk well....imagine living in one....
All I can say is just please walk away and walk away fast. You have come too far to get sucked back into the madness, even if he is 'McDreamy'. (Who is also my ultimate fantasy LOL!!)
IMHO any addiction he may have is just the tip of a very scary iceberg...
((((HUGS))))