i remember when i ended my relationship with my daughter's dad - i was pretty beat up, mentally and physically. i went to a therapist who told me to write down all the painful things and make them into a paper chain. when i'd be feeling strong enough throughout that grieving process, i would break off one the links in the chain, read it, and let it go, throw it away.
it was very helpful.
love ya, jules. hang in there. k