Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
I lived for a long time feeling less than, not good enough, never up to par....i became very needy, clingly, desperate for attention. "hunted" men as a starving man would a rabbit. tried to "fit in"
and then one day it was like, wait a damn minute, what is so horribly wrong me AS IS? i've been trying to bend and morph myself to what i think others want, and THAT ain't working, so maybe i'll just try being the best ME i can, warts and all.....i've been a lot happier since then!
Oh my God, me too me too!! I always felt like a third wheel in my family. That nothing I did was worthy of praise or recognition, nothing! I wanted to sit an exam to a certain school when I was entering secondary (11/12yrs old) my mum wouldn't let me even try because she said I wouldn't pass. I spent the next 10 years proving to her I was smart enough. I wanted to be a musician, play in an orchestra, but it was always, no, keep that as a hobby, music never got any one anywhere etc etc.
I was incredibly clingy and craved love in any form shape size, I willingly accepted it as soon as I found it and turned most relationships I had into a big romantic love affair. I was desperate to be recognised and loved.
Now my self confidence is top, I feel free and perfect just as I am, excellent feeling, but that fear of failing, not living up to standard etc kept me hindered and wallowing in depression for over half of my life to date.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
