want my child to have better, but jealous...
Hi,
I'm an ACOA, perhaps not fully recovered, as I come face to face with my own worst memories, as I strive to be sure my child has a better life than I did, growing up. And he does. I'm an involved, engaged, caring parent, as is my husband, who is an alcoholic in recovery.
We've worked really hard to be sure our home could be as stable and loving as it could be. We're planning a big 5 year old birthday for our child, but the trouble is, I'm jealous. Jealous that our kid gets the love and attention from mommy and daddy that I didn't.
I find myself feeling so resentful that he has what I didn't get. When my parents forgot my birthday, largely ignored me, left me alone, and were so neglectful. We're really blessed with a great kid, who brings genuine smiles to us, and deserves a great life. But when I was that age, 4 going on 5, I had some really painful experiences, that still haunt me, and I haven't been able to let go of the hurt/anger. I'm working hard to be sure my child doesn't experience what I did. Which is making my jealous of my own child!
Has anyone ever felt this way? How did you cope? Please help!