Your ABF sounds alot like mine, does all the shopping and cooking, takes out the trash. Really great on the surface. But he likes to "have some drinks" while he cooks and sometimes the mess is unreal. Then IF he will eat he slops it like a dog. Did you see that video of David Hasselhoff eating while drunk? That's him.
He managed to stay sober for 2 mths, then we went to a football game and it started all over again. I had to kick him out. Continued to see him though, as long as he was sober. That lasted awhile, then I noticed he started having some before coming over. Then Friday night I noticed he had snuck some in his jacket. I can't take it anymore. He told me that night that he chooses his alcohol and I will hafta accept it if I want him in my life. So I told him I don't want him in my life. Last night I spoke to him on the phone. He said he is miserable without me, but I need to stay away from him. This relationship is so one sided. It's all about him and his drama. I can never need anything. I would like to call him to help me get this Christmas stuff in the attic, but he knows I need that. He was supposed to help me get something at the hardware store this weekend too, but he's been drunk all weekend. I've turned off my phones.
Starting my own recovery from this codependancy.