I'm sorry you are feeling worried and confused, Toomutch. I agree with Laurie - deep breathes...This is out of your hands. It's funny how perspective can change things. When I read your post (and believe me, i truly unbderstand that it is easy for me to think this way since I am not emotionally involved) I thought that your nephew's Hp must have something in mind for him. Perhaps he just is not yet ready to leave the protected environment and there are still lessons to learn.
Hugs to you and lots of prayers for your sister and nephew.