Originally Posted by
blue789 
I like to drink, mostly out of boredom. Vodka is my choice, but lots and lots of wine will do too. How does one so fortunate as myself get bored? That's the part I don't understand. It's selfish and shameful.
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I don't think it is boredom, I think you just described alcohol addiction. Shame is the reward we get.
Hi blue and welcome to the SR family!
You've described a lot of us here at SR.
Drinking started out as a little pick me up, a socially correct thing to do and given time, it escalates for some of us to addiction. We thought it was just the elevated senses that got us drinking daily, but once our bodies become dependent on alcohol, we're hooked.
The good news is that there is hope. You too can spend today and everyday sober! We're here to help you.
I tried many times to control my drinking. It always controlled me in the end. I knew I needed to quit, but I kept justifying one more social drink (go home and drink a bottle of wine later) or after a few weeks sober I would reward myself with an evening out. I finally found a post on this website that spelled out how my entire body was addicted to alcohol and each drink was keeping me chained to the bottle.
This is the link to excerpts from the book "Under the Influence"
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
After reading that book, I was able to get my head and my heart (intentions) on the same page. I can not control my drinking. I am an alcoholic. Now I have the internal peace to overcome the addiction.
Keep posting and reading. Make yourself at home