Susan,
Realizing that you'd made a mistake, and then un-doing your mistake? Do you know how huge that is? I know that I was not strong enough to follow my gut that way. I took my X back multiple times, and every time I felt (within the first day or two) that I'd made a mistake....but I didn't have the courage to act on my feelings. YOU DID. I have so much respect for you.
I love to journal at this time of the year, to re-visit the things that are most important to me. Maybe you'd benefit from sitting for a while with a good hot drink and your favorite music playing, and write some lists for YOU and only YOU
--What your perfect day would look like, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep (the only rule: you can't change someone else's basic nature)
--The people in your life who are important, and what each one contributes
--Twenty things you love to do just for YOU
......and so on. You are a valuable, vibrant person and the world is laid out in front of you, waiting for whatever you'd like to do in it. Taking a day to focus on your own happiness and how you want to craft your life can relieve a lot of the pressure that's being put on you.
Suggest that maybe you reconsider talking to him right now, until your heart and mind are level again? You don't need his input at the moment. You know how he feels, and he's just feeding a lot of anger and confusion into your head.
Love and strength to you
