Originally Posted by
blue789 
How does one so fortunate as myself get bored? That's the part I don't understand. It's selfish and shameful.
I typically always drink at home.
I find it hard to even be motivated to do anything without having cocktails, that includes cooking dinner, talking on the phone, etc.
Hi, I'm 51, 4 amazing kids and a beautiful wife who is my soulmate and I hers. I am a very fortunate man, how could I become an alcoholic with the ideal life?... I know exactly where you're coming from.
SHAME - Big problem with me in my earliest days of being clean and sober. Really messed my head up.
Get rid of it. It serves no useful purpose. Get sober and be kind to yourself. You have 3 kids who you love very much and you are taking steps to let them back in your life and yours into theirs. Be proud of the hard work you'll do to leave the alcohol behind you.
You may never understand why alcohol became so central and necessary in your life, I haven't. I am only 3 and 3/4 months sober, so maybe it'll come to me, but I quit trying to understand why. Just trying to understand how, how to be sober and happy. And how to lose my shame.
Please consider a support group like AA. The fellowship of others who are going through the same things will help you greatly. Read alot about recovery, and of course, keep coming back!
Above all, do this for you, not your husband or kids. I have to do this for me, because without my sobriety, I may lose it all.
Mark