I totally get what you mean. I've been writing my memoir and I realized that the only requirement I ever had for a boyfriend was that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. That's it. Kinda like you.
My husband is my husband essentially because he decided he could tolerate the bad things about me.
Makes me sick. I wish I could go back and live my life with more intent. But I can't. All I can do is go forward with as much focus and intent as I can now muster. Part of that is not drinking ever again.
Thanks for your post.