I wonder if there is any value in trying to get him to log on to SR?
I agree with anvil-- I like having SR to myself- a place where I can learn and share and I have no attachment to whether it might be "good for" someone else. It's good for ME!
Two biggies for me in early recovery:
#1 Accepting that I am powerless over other people - which for me meant just because something (an idea, a meeting, a book, a "program") was working for me or had spoken to me, doesn't mean it will have the same or ANY effect on another person- because we are all individuals and no 2 people will use the same bit of info in the same way.
#2 If I thought of it, if I found it, then my alcoholic brothers can find it too. They are adults. They know where to go for help. They will seek that help if and only if they choose to seek it. Has nothing to do with me. It is NOT MY JOB nor my responsibility nor is it even POSSIBLE for me to "help" someone stop drinking. My help is not what's called for. I can help myself. I can be compassionate and loving (from a distance if necessary for My mental health).
This is not to say that other people's recovery isn't inspiring - it is- but it can have no effect on another person's recovery until that adult comes and says - wow I want what you have - I am sick and tired of living like this - and then opens their mind and finds their own path to recovery.
I am recovering from codependence - it makes no difference to MY recovery if the alcoholics keep drinking or not. Codependence sux and is an unhealthy system for living and thinking -- whether people are drinking around me or not. When I truly accepted that I had my own major problem to get out from under and that I needed help to find a way to recover things got a whole lot better in my life.
I'm divorced too- I wouldn;t want to go through another bad marriage and a divorce again either - but please don't beat yourself up-- you did it before you CAN do it again and you seem inspired to reach out and get help for yourself so you won't find your way into that dynamic a 3rd time!!! That's what's important.
The past is gone. You are free in THIS moment!
Sending you a shot of courage and strength!
Peace-
B.