I don't read anywhere -- here or in the other thread -- that anyone's concerned are being dismissed as unimportant. Only that the decibels of the previous thread were climbing into the "unhelpful" range, and the conversation was devolving into a squabble. Which I agreed with. That's my only point, poorly made in my first post.
The "unimportant" part appears to be a judgment call you're making. That's your right, just as taking "The Girls" out of context was a right.
I know what you've had to go through in the name of your recovery, Barbara, and I have a metric ton of respect for you. In a business or any in-person setting, if someone were to refer to you as "Girl" I would personally rip their arm off and beat them to death with it.....AFTER I made him go get us both coffee. But that's not what happened here.
Martha Beck tells a story about two women entering a building, and having an older gentleman hold the door open for them. One woman said, "What a nice man." The other woman said, "What a chauvinist pig."
The people on this community are my friends. They can hold the door open for me any time they like, because I choose to read their intent before I read my own personal biases.