My 'dd' has escalated lately, finish a bottle of wine at home in an ebuliant mood, wanting to talk to someone, craving some kind of connection however skewed, so I drove to a local wine bar or something - I woke up the next morning almost more embarassed that I was a girl in a bar alone, and then scared of how I got home. The shame makes me cringe whenever I have to pass by certain areas of town close to the house, and that makes me isolate and drink alone, starting the cycle again.
(I realize that my restaurant/fine dining obsession & self-description as a connisseur has really been mostly about the wine that goes with it. My food knowledge has really just been accidentally picked up by proximity to red wine.)
I have been driving drunk to bars more often lately, like in some screwy way I know that I need to reach out to people, but only doing so after a bottle of courage.