harleykitt - I'm glad your here. Whatever it takes for you to stick this out you have to do.
Today can go down as one of the most important days of your life.
I know exactly how you feel about the drinking and driving. My DD was mostly short distances. When I needed to drink away from home, I would just get hotels so I could not worry about limits when I would party downtown or at concerts.
A sad but funny thing is I would do after my many blackout drives home is the next morning I would look to see if I pulled in my drive way or backed in. I prefer to back in (ex military thing), so I always gave a sigh of relief when I would run to the front door and look out and see the car was backed in. That meant I was not as drunk as I could be.
I can't tell you how glad I am for that part to be over with. We easily talk about the harm we have brought to ourselves. But i am glad I am no longer out there drunk, rolling down the road in 2000 pounds of steel.