used to give a year for things to get better
I was just thinking about how I used to give a year for things to get better with him and me and if they didn’t I’d would leave. Some changes would happen, sadly not always a good change. Then I used to give things getting better 6 months, and then it was three month. Now, I’m laughing, no now I’m crying on the inside because I’m giving it less than 4 weeks for changes to happen.
Do you think I’m growing tried of this marry-go-round or is it that I’m expecting the changes to happen faster now that he’s been working the program for 8 months? He still in denial about the pain that he has caused, I think it’s because he had so much pain caused to him in his own life by his father, mother, sister, and sad to said but I’m now I this list. I’m sure I’ve inflicted some pain into his life. I’ve said that I’m sorry but I think he so overwhelm by it all that he doesn’t realize he’s not getting over the pain in his own life.
I guess it does not matter anymore. I’m going on a business trip in the beginning of May and when I come back, I’m asking for a divorce. I don’t want to hurt him but I can’t take this any longer the taking of heaping spoonfuls of medicine created because of his addictions.
I need to do for me, make me feel good. In the end, I think we’ll both be better off.