I woke up one morning, nothing had occurred the night before that I can recall and thought this is it. Almost the same way I fell in luv, like you, at a very young age, with my XAH. I woke him, told him that “we” were going to the PITT game with my dad. He said, I’m getting up, I said no, you are getting out. And that was it. Don’t get me wrong…there is much more destruction that took place in the first year after we split, but it is over now. Inahaze, this is hard. The children, your living situation, money, family, friends…all of that will change. But you will be better in awhile. I know now that no matter how bad my problems are, how many times I mess up with all of the above, it is better doing it on my own than doing it with the looming judgmental attitude of my X. I even noticed in a recent relationship how stressed I was between pay checks. Like I had to justify why it is that I am so broke. But since that relationship ended, I am ok with having $12.00 in the checking account the day before I get paid. It is called peace and contentment.
Big hug to you. Your post makes me feel sad and relieved all at the same time.