Originally Posted by
Still Waters 
Really though, what he's saying is "This is who I am! I'm a drunk, so get over it already!".
Guess that leaves the ball in your park.
That's true. That certainly sounds like what he's saying now.
He peppers our conversations with admissions of "his problem" and his need for help, but he gets defensive when I express displeasure about this aspect of his personality.
Like, it's okay for HIM to admit that it's a problem, but if I say anything about it being a problem he goes into all-out justification mode.
The drinking is "a problem" for him when the problem gets him sympathy.
When it gets him frustration or anger, it ceases to his problem and becomes mine. My "perception" problem.
I am tired of this.
I wish him all the best. I'd like to believe what he's telling me. That he just had a bumpy patch in life - the drinking filled a temporary void - and now he's ok. Now he can have a beer at a party. But I don't believe it. Not at all.
And that's where we disagree.
I'm not WANTING him to be an alcoholic for life - but I don't believe that alcoholism just goes away.