Hi LaDita. This friend of yours who is leaving - if he/she is that good of a friend, would they not understand what you are going through? Can you meet up with this friend before the bar gathering or arrange something else? As far as staying home, just do it if you feel that is what you need to do. Why does it have to be about feeling sorry for yourself? You should not feel sorry for yourself because you are doing something that is good for you and in the long run for the best by being sober. I have really learned that by staying home more often, I am really not missing out on much. I feel very complete. Do you have any hobbies, reading etc? And hey, if you feel like you have to lie and say you do not feel well, so be it. If thats what it takes! Its one holiday out of many. Try not to sweat it and make the best of it if you can!