Originally Posted by
bookwyrm 
(((toughchoices))) it may only be a cyber hug, but have it anyway. :ghug3
My STBXAH also accused me of trying to control him - he said my attempting recovery for me was the worst thing to happen to our marriage! ......
You can only do what is right for you.
Thanks for the hug and the share, bookwyrm! I needed it!
I wonder if I'm having a moment of clarity here.
When Peter said that I wasn't making any progress, I realized that he's waiting for me to "come around" to his way of thinking. To accept his drinking and make peace with the chaos that alcoholism may bring to my life.
When I think Peter isn't making much progress, I realized that I'm waiting for him to "come around" to my way of thinking. To accept that alcohol is toxic to him and to our relationship and make peace with the need for recovery.
We're both just hoping the other person will change.
I'm not overtly attempting to facilitate that change any longer, but my desire for it is still there somewhere.
Most of the time I am able to manage it fairly well, but sometimes my "magical thinking" sets in and I get upset about my fairy tale ending being edited.
I so dislike the feeling that he wants me to be different - I'm sure he dislikes the feeling that I want him to be different.
There are some occasions when our differences just rub up against each other in all the wrong ways.
I'm not sleeping well tonight - processing a lot.
Am I reading too much into this?