(((toughchoices))) it may only be a cyber hug, but have it anyway. :ghug3
My STBXAH also accused me of trying to control him - he said my attempting recovery for me was the worst thing to happen to our marriage! He didn't understand - or more importantly, didn't want to understand that what I was doing was about me and my sanity and not about changing or controlling him. He was free to make his own decisions just as I was free to make mine. He saw my attempts at changing myself as attempts at changing him! No idea which one of us was the biggest codie in the relationship...
You can only do what is right for you. Have a great time in Dallas - Belgian waffles with strawberries and cream sounds delicious!